Well furr-iends the tale of Love on the High Seas is not over yet. I hope you’ll stay with me a little longer as there is more to tell. This time me, err Captain – Count Prince Valentino has a few new encounters as he strives to be the princess’s gallant hero.
As you remember we last left the count as he was being pulled to Louisiana land on a surfboard by Kalvin the kraken.
Chapter 13: “The Gallant Hero”, paw penned by moi
The surfboard scooped up sand as it met the shore before coming to a full stop. I could hear the exchange of words between Camembert and Princess Erin and the threats he was making towards her as he had her detained nearby. Both were in my sights. “Leave her alone!” I cried out wanting to run to her and dispatch her from the net and vanquish her captor, but I knew I needed to take care of a couple of things first.
The dock was strewn with old oak barrels, their staves rusty, some empty and others full of gun powder, wines, La Mancha and other cheese varieties awaiting delivery inland or shipment to the Atlantic and to the far seas.
I leapt off the board onto the dock landing on one knee with paws down like Furr-ol Flynn as Zorrocat, peering up under the brim of my hat at the seadogs that were moving in my direction. I took another quick glance at the princess. Hang tight, dear, I silently mewed. I drew in a deep breath and stood upright and looked at the dogs.
The two were moving in closer. They snarled and lathered their lips with their tongues. I suspected they were picturing me as a skewer wrapped in greasy bacon with a Wilson ball in my mouth rotating over a spicket, the wheel being turned by a squirrel they kept as a slave. They growled and snapped their jaws, moving in even closer. “My, I believe you’ve missed several dental exams. By the looks of those teeth you may be gumming your food soon and eating yogurt instead of meat.” The dogs moved in closer still. “I myself believe dental hygiene is as important as multiple baths a day,” I tapped at my white teeth and grinned. More growls and snaps came from them.
“Now as far as I can see, your mangy canine pals retreated. Apparently they aren’t fond of the music of the Sirenmese,” I chuckled. “I suspect that you two weren’t affected by the music, because your master has a stronger hold on you. And with his attentions on the princess right now, it is only the two of you against little ol’ me,” I taunted. “Now I am a fair kitty, and will give you a chance to run off to join your mutt brethren-” But before I could continue they started circling me and I could see in their eyes that they had no intention of leaving. I took in another deep breath, then quietly removed my hat and my sash and set them aside. After doing a few warm up stretches, I puffed up my biceps just in case the princess was looking my way, before getting into a defensive stance.
!!GARRRR-RRR!! Sounded the dogs. Then the first, with the patch at his eye, sprang in the air and landed, crushing my hat! “Arrr!” I yelled, “That was my favorite!” The second dog, with a bald patch on his side, seemed to be smiling and laughing. I pulled my cutlass from the scabbard at my waist. With a !!SCHWIP!! I cut off the patch that was covering the first dog’s eye. The plug of cheese he hid in the socket to snack on later popped out and landed in the sand. And in that moment a small crab snatched up the plug with his claw and scurried back into its hole, taking the prize with him. “Yar-rr-K,” went the dog. He scrambled to the ground to try and sniff out the crab and when he did he found it tightly clamped to the end of his nose and he whined and ran off. Then the second dog got up on his haunches, bellowed in my face and swiped me above the eye with his paw, so I cut his dewclaw to the quick and the dog yelped and dashed off.
Just seconds before, Camembert had taken a wallop from a tentacle that reached out of the iron cage from below the dock where he stood, throwing him off his feet. He righted himself and turned and lashed at the tentacle with his dagger, causing the cage to rattle as the beast inside felt pain and retracted its now wounded arm.
A bulging eye peered out of the water close to shore and rotated like a periscope until it focused on the dock. The eye went back under. Water started to bubble violently and gurgle as Kalvin the kraken fully surfaced and raised himself upon the shore. Then, with three tentacles wavering aloft, and leaving small plumes of fine sand in his wake, he slithered purposefully towards the dock and the villain Camembert.
“Hey you, that’s no way to treat a lady!” I yelled to Camembert, hoping to lure him away from the princess, fearing she was on her last leg. Camembert turned his head and saw that I had fought off his dogs. He then strode towards me, leaving Erin slumped on the ground behind him. “Princess, tell me you’re OK!” I cried out. But she didn’t respond. “Camembert,” I growled as he and I made eye contact. “Let me guess… You must be the gallant Valentino… Ah-h yes, and you have come to save your beloved?!” He gave a conniving grin, “but it seems you are too late,” he turned and pointed to Erin’s motionless body. I gasped and my heart dropped when I saw her lashed eyes shut, wounded ears, and blood pooled by her side. I took a deep breath in hoping that she hadn’t yet gone to the light. “Though I must say your Erin put up a good fight. But she was a fool to think that she could take me on and actually win-” he broke off as he just then noticed a starfish still stuck to the underside of his tail. Squinting one eye, he pulled out the spiny armament and flicked it aside, feeling the stinging sensation left behind. A few drops of blood dripped to the ground. Gentleman that I am, I waited for him to gather himself and then, “Nobody calls my lady a fool!” I scowled. Camembert reached for his sabre inside his robe and our two swords met with a loud !!CLANG!!
The duel had begun. “Take that you pug-faced buffoon,” he yowled. “Back at yah, ye unholy slice of Limburger!” We disengaged and I struck a classic fencing pose, then darted forward in synchronized steps with sword in paw, my other paw up in the air for balance. Camembert matched my form and came at me. We battled back and forth and back and forth. I paused once more as he noticed another starfish still clinging to him, this time at his back that had cut through his robe. With a wince and gritted teeth, he slowly removed it from the soft tissue and rubbed the wound with his paw before returning to fighting position. More drops of blood fell to the ground and I could have sworn I heard him ask for his momma under his breath. Then the battle continued as we made our way over the dock along the waterfront nearing a large vat of boiling cheese and two oak barrels, one full of gun powder.
Former champ Freakin’ Frank watched with a fixed stare out the front window of his shop at the duel before him, bouncing in place with his feet in anticipation for my signal. Until recently a captive of Captain El Mignon Mouse-Morsels, the marsupial was now the proprietor of ‘The Cultured Mould’ cheese shop. With a saddle nose he could smell not the product so cheese profits were safe. Frank was eager to repay Camembert who had controlled the mice.
Then Camembert lunged at me. I stepped to the side and struck down on the back of his paw dislodging his sabre. His face turned a cardinal red and he sought a new low, by pulling a flintlock from his robe and pointing it towards me. “Ha Ha! The shot from my gun will either put a hole in your skull or will hit that barrel and will blow you sky high. Either way I win and you die!” He sneered. I looked to the ground and saw gun powder spilling from a small crack in the barrel that lay on its side.
“And so, are you ready to give up,” said Camembert. “Oh, of course not, I have the upper hand,” I winked, standing proudly with my cutlass at my side in paw and its tip resting on the ground. Frank came out of his shop at that moment and softly hopped towards us, stopping behind Camembert and unbeknownst to him. “What makes you say that,” said the villanous lynx. Right then Frank stomped his big foot, causing a plank below Camembert to come loose and him to topple, dislodging the gun and sending the single shot through the shop window and puncturing a wheel of cheese that rested on the shop’s counter.
“Have you met my friend Freakin’ Frank?” I said to Camembert as Frank looked down upon his face. “Ow ya goin mate,” said the kangaroo in his Australian slang as if oblivious to what he had just done. “Frank, Camembert here has threatened the princess’s life!” Frank still looking at Camembert said, “I’ll be stuffed!” “Oh shut up you oversized, wheel-spinning defunct lab experiment,” mocked Camembert as he got back up. Then !!WOMP!! Frank’s left glove swung at Camembert and he stumbled backward. “Ugh!” Camembert’s mouth dropped. “That un’s for the Princess,” said Frank. “And this un’s for me,” and Frank’s right glove walloped Camembert headfirst into the vat of boiling cheese.
To be continued by Erin the Cat Princess, in Chapter 14 – “Surely Wounded…”………………….. ……..Click HERE
And for the previous chapter, by Erin the Cat Princess, in Chapter 12 – “Ear Today, Gone Tomorrow!” ………………………………………..Click HERE
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I want to give a mew mew of thanks to my furr-iends at It’s a Wonderpurr Life for this cute Christmas card! I sure appurr-ciate it! Mew Mew!
Cheese variety icon vector illustration Copyright: margarin / 123RF Stock Photo
Brick wall with wood floor, vintage background Copyright: tortoon / 123RF Stock Photo
Barrels Copyright: ivankish / 123RF Stock Photo
Pirate Adventure Audio Copyright: flush303 / 123RF Stock Audio